How Do You Show Up

I believe I’m offered several opportunities every day to choose how I want to show up in the world. It’s one of the many beautiful gifts I receive in being human; the gift of choice, the choice to stay with myself and lead it with conscious intention.    It’s up to me and only me to design this one and only life I get to live. To be with myself as I experience each moment and invite the people in who feed my soul and lift my spirit. I have a deep desire to be happy and filled with so much joy that when any circumstance grazes me, inevitably joy flows out from me. Most of the time that is what occurs; however, there are also those days when I don’t remain with myself. I react, and when that split-second decision is made, the consequences quickly ensue. This behavior often causes pain, not necessarily just for me, but for others around me as well.   Several years ago, I was in a new role at my job and I worked extremely long hours. I was emotionally drained and physically exhausted, and I endlessly stewed in bitterness and resentment. I felt like I was hanging on by a thread. The few hours I was home, the smallest-simplest request from my husband or children would untether me. Because I was not taking care of myself, placing boundaries or communicating what I needed, the people I loved the most in my life suffered. I found myself living small, even avoiding them at times for fear they would desire something I just wasn't equipped to handle. Dr. Wayne Dyer comes to mind when I think about this concept. He once shared the “Orange Story.”    “When you squeeze an orange, what comes out? Everyone with a pulse knows the answer is orange juice, and that no matter how hard you squeeze, grapefruit juice will never fill your glass. The same is true for your life.”  When frustration is inside of you, frustration is what comes out. When stress, anxiety, or fear is inside of you, that’s exactly what comes out when you’re “squeezed.” Just like it’s impossible for apple juice to come out of an orange, it’s impossible for peace and joy to come out of you when you’re filled with bitterness and anger.  What would it be like if you were to stay with yourself when someone bites at you?   How do you want to respond rather than react?   Those are a couple of the important questions I had to ask myself during that difficult season years ago. I have since made necessary changes. Now, I have a different career, I communicate what I need and I fill my heart and mind with loving, motivational messages and environments that align best with who I am and how I want to show up. My focus is on staying present and offering love. If you do the work daily; if you stay conscious, curious and open, eventually what will organically come from you is an appropriate response bundled in love and respect. First for yourself and then for the one you're interacting with.  It’s one of life’s great lessons.  What comes out when life squeezes you?  Stressful situations do not bring out the worst in us; they reveal what’s in us.

Author: Heidi Neuss, Life Coach

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